Hi, my name’s Dominique. You might remember me, I was a person that communicated with the outside world before I had this ridiculously adorable child who has consumed every second of my life with love, spit up, nursing, cuddling, and diapers.
In order to shed some light on why it seems as though I have dropped off the face of the Earth I offer you last nights baby break down..
9:00pm – I feed Noah like there is no tomorrow, foolishly hoping a full tummy equals almost a full nights sleep.
10:00pm – It is past mommy and daddy’s bed time. We are running on fumes and lay down to sleep. Right on cue Noah begins to fuss, to boot he rejects his pacifier.
10:15pm – After rejecting all other forms of comfort I feed Noah (again). I am pretty sure he has a tape worm because there is no way he could eat that much and still weigh under a ton, let alone less than 10lbs.
10:30pm – Noah begins making a very, very dirty diaper while finishing his feeding. I try not to gag.
11:05 – Daddy puts on his game face and changes him because I have withered away to nothing because there is no moisture left in my body from Noah’s love of feeding.
11:10 – Daddy lays Noah down and he refuses to sleep on his back. Noah fights his swaddle, loudly. We’re talking lots of grunting.
11:30 – I remove swaddle. Noah falls asleep into what appears to be a deep, promising sleep.
11:45 – Noah wants swaddled.
1:15am – Noah needs fed and is loudly demanding it.
1:35am – Noah falls asleep before having a full feeding. This forces me to go finish the feeding via the pump because not finishing a feeding is like being hit with a baseball bat…in the boobs.
2:40am – Noah works loudly on a dirty diaper and shocks mommy and daddy by not actually having a dirty diaper.
3:15 – Noah silently made a dirty diaper and is very loudly telling us about it.
3:20 – Noah is hungry again.
4:15 – Noah falls asleep 15 minutes before Daddy’s work alarm goes off.
4:50am – Daddy leaves for work and Noah is done sleeping. He looks as though he is trying to keep his eyes as open as possible.
5:45am – Noah falls asleep only under the condition that I hold him.
6:15am – I sneak Noah into his bassinet and pass out half way in the bassinet and half way on the bed attempting to trick him in to thinking he is being held.
7:00am – Noah wakes to his wet diaper leaking onto his already-cleaned-once-this-morning bed. He is very upset about this.
7:20 – Noah falls asleep, clean, dry, still hopefully full and swaddled….it looks promising.
8:00am – Noah awakes bright eyed and bushy tailed, flashing that gummy grin of his.
8:05am – I swoop him up and accept that there will be no more sleep today but I am completely ok with it because that toothless smile just melted my heart.
So please forgive my baby induced hibernation, sometimes it is all I can do to get dressed in the morning. When going to the bathroom requires a plan and with my boobs on call 24/7 hibernation is just what I need.