While going through old pictures…
Me: Should I dye my hair back to brown?
Kevin: Oh God.
Me: Seriously Kevin, which do you prefer? You can be honest, it wont bother me.
Kevin: This is a trap, I like you the way you are.
Me: No. Blonde or Brown. You have to prefer one or the other…it is science or something.
Me: BLLLLLONDE or BRRRRROWN.
Kevin: No….please stop…
Kevin: Ugh. No.
Me: Do you like my hair now?
Kevin has entered that alternate husband reality where time slows down and they experience the armageddon feeling of putting their foot in their mouth (also see: any answer besides no to the question does this make me look fat?)
Me: WHAT?! Why?! Oh my God! What is wrong with it?! (I continue to spin into an anxiety induced hair melt down)
Kevin: NOOOO. I was just saying no! I wasn’t even listening to you!
Look of even further wife scorn…
Kevin: No! I was listening to you…and I love your hair….and…ummm…crap…I love you, I am an idiot.