One year.

Dear Noah,

I can’t believe we are here. How has time gone by so fast?

One year.

One year of milestones achieved and memories made.

One year of watching you go from a fragile little infant and into an amazing, happy, independent little boy.

You’ve been ours for one full year. Every day we still have to pinch ourselves to remind ourselves you really are all ours, we are that lucky.

This past week your dad started telling people you were one. I had to stop him. I wanted to savor those last days where you were something months old..that you were my infant. How could my baby boy be one?

This past week leading up to your birthday has been bitter sweet. I can remember each day leading up to your birth a year ago. Now as I watch you with wobbly steps explore the world holding my breath with every step I think back to all of the anticipation, wonder, excitement and anxiety waiting for your arrival.

Each day that has lead up to your birthday I have thought back to where I was the year before and finally tonight as I write this letter to you a year ago I was in labor with you.

Noah, I’ve been looking forward to writing this letter all year. It’s absolutely unfathomable to me that only a year ago I only had little glimpse of you through ultrasound pictures and little kicks and hiccups in my belly.

We were as close as we ever would be your entire life but you felt so far away. I just wanted to hold you, hear you cry, feel you squeeze my finger with your tiny fist – I wanted to meet you more than I have ever wanted anything in my life. Your birth was beautiful, scary and amazing. There are parts of that day that will forever be ingrained in my memory, but most of all the moment I got to look at your face for the first time.

Anyone who doesn’t believe in love at first sight hasn’t had a child.

Your dad and I tried to dream of who you would be, what kind of parents we would be and how this first year would go.

Nothing has gone how we thought it would go.

You are more than we could have hope for. When I look at you I think, “how is it that we got to be the lucky parents that get to raise the best baby ever created?”

I know that is a pretty bold statement, best baby ever. I believe it too. I am not trying to be boastful. I think that is what makes us good parents though…I think every parent should believe their baby is perfect.

You are perfect to us.

You have taught us so much about ourselves.

You have given our lives so much meaning; I can’t believe there was a time where you weren’t a part of our lives.

I have never been so in love.

I had no idea what I was in for when you came into our lives, but any expectations I had about what parenthood would be like were far exceeded. You’ve given me purpose. My life has more meaning than it ever did before. Of all the things I’ve done with my life and even those yet to come, none will be more important than being your mother.

Every year as we sing to you, I won’t just be celebrating the day you came into this world. I’ll be celebrating having you in my life.

Thank you for being you Noah, I know you didn’t have much choice in the matter but thank you for letting me be your mom. It is the greatest gift I have ever been given.

You’re so precious to me, sweet as can be, baby of mine.

Love you always,

Mommy

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2 thoughts on “One year.

  1. What a celebration of love – this first birthday has been! I couldn’t agree with you more – watching Noah grow from a fragile newborn into an amazing, happy, independent little boy has been so wonderful. Being Grammie and Pappie to this little guy has been great joy. Watching you and Kevin share so much love and laughter with him has been a huge part of that joy. Happy Birthday, Noah. You are loved. You were welcomed into this world and you have been celebrated all along the way. Happy day!

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