Where do I begin?
Things have been quiet around here. I don’t know how to write when I can’t be open and honest.
When I have things weighing on my mind that I can’t put out there I can’t put anything out there.
And to quote my exact words after I took the pregnancy test, “we are very pregnant”.
After coming out of the bathroom and Kevin asked me if I was pregnant that was all I could say.
The pregnancy test I took when we were pregnant with Noah I had to wait the full two minutes to see a very faded pink line.
So faded I bought 5 more tests just to be sure. I didn’t believe it until we bought the uber expensive one that actually spits it out in black and white and reads PREGNANT.
This time around we used the generic half price tests and I think you could have held the test up to me and it would have turned positive. I literally didn’t have time to put the test down before two bright pink lines popped up.
I had no idea what this meant. I just knew I was indeed very pregnant.
I thought I might be further along that I had thought but swore it couldn’t be the case. I went over every date I could in my head and knew I could only be 4 weeks along.
At 6 weeks we went into date our pregnancy since I was so worried but all they saw was a little blob. No heart beat. No baby. Just a little orb.
My heart sank but the nurse assured me that this was normal and scheduled me to come back at 7 ½ weeks to as the paper she handed me coldly said, “ultrasound to see viability of pregnancy”.
If I hadn’t been so sick in the week and a half between appointments or so tired that I needed two naps just to get through the day I would have been worried there wasn’t a little bean in there. All my symptoms told me I was VERY pregnant.
The evening before our “viability ultrasound” we were out on a walk talking about how crazy the past week and a half had been and that it seemed like I was super pregnant and Kevin said, “I think you are pregnant with twins.”
His family had joked about it when we told them but everyone jokes about that stuff when you tell them you are pregnant. Heck I had old men insisting I was having twins when I was pregnant with Noah when I was 8 months, I was use to it.
But this time it stuck.
At the 7 ½ week appointment all I cared about was seeing that little flickering light and to know our baby was ok.
Kevin sat holding Noah and as the test began the nurse was silent. She turned the monitor to her and pressed harder with the ultra sound wand and looked closely at the screen.
My eyes were closed tight I wasn’t watching the screen on the wall, I was so afraid she was searching for a heartbeat. I couldn’t bear to watch. I could feel tear start to well up in my eyes.
But when I opened my eyes and looked at Kevin who had been watching the entire time I knew.
The nurse then turned the monitor toward me and said, “I have a surprise for you!”
I laughed and then cried (happy tears).
She showed me “baby A” and “baby B”, she showed me they were in the same sac so they were identical. She took their heartbeats, a strong 148 bpm each.
My heart swelled as I looked at them nestled together.
Kevin and I left the appointment in awe. I think the term for it is “twin shock”.
We immediately told our families but swore them to secrecy because twin pregnancies aren’t exactly easy and a lot can happen early on, especially with them sharing the same sac and being identical.
Things have been crazy. It has been so impossible not to say anything and to act normal when friends call and to avoid going out because well…I look very pregnant. My doctor told me to expect to show about 2 months ahead of where I would be at each month and boy was she right. This last month I have for sure popped.
We waited 8 weeks to tell everyone when we were expecting Noah but decided to keep this pregnancy completely secret until at least 12 weeks, because of all the risks involved.
But now that everyone knows you can plan to hear a lot more from me as I prepare to have three babies under the age of two come this February!