Everything is ok.

My boys are growing!

This week we had another ultrasound & everything looks perfect!

I always get a little antsy right before our scans, we only have had to go two weeks between ultrasounds our entire pregnancy so I can’t imagine only having a 20 week ultrasound and maybe one or two more peaks at these guys.

I thought I would feel spoiled and overwhelmed with all these scans but with all there is to worry about I feel like they could scan me every day and it would be ok.

The boys are long and right on track (even a little better than expected). This time around we were hoping they would make it to a pound and Aiden is 1lbs 2oz and Evan is 1lbs 4oz! Their limbs are measuring 2 weeks ahead of schedule, we’ve got two more “string bean” babies on the way! These gross protein shakes I have been downing since we found out they were mono di have really been paying off! They have always been a little above goal and never more than 2oz apart!!

I have a feeling all my boys are going to tower over me!

Right before leaving for the scan I got a call from a nurse at my ENT’s office. I got a letter the week before notifying me that the doctor that I had been with since day one of my cancer journey, he even did my surgery was leaving the practice. I was due next month for my thyroid ultrasound and blood work – something I dread but decided to get it done the day after I got the letter so my doctor could review everything before leaving.

I was really scared going into the ultrasound, but my nurse was much better than last time and even pulled me aside to tell me everything looked really good.

Then I got a call from a nurse at the ENT’s office telling me that I needed to be scheduled – now.

Kevin and I were sitting on the floor of our living room surrounded in Ikea bookshelf parts. We went from being happy and laughing to that moment again. He couldn’t hear the other side of the conversation but when I blurted out but I am pregnant…I am pregnant with twins.

The blood drained from his face. We were in that sinking, gut wrenching, this can’t be happening moment again.

I stood up and tried to make sense out of how everything looked fine and now I need more radiation? Not a biopsy? Not a surgery? Not another scan?

The nurse really didn’t know what she was talking about. When I told her that these twins were being born premature at 36 weeks (at the latest) and I HAD to breastfeed them she asked if I would not breastfeed them and have it right after delivering.

I couldn’t breathe. My maternal instinct was in over drive and I told her no. I had to breastfeed them. Babies, ESPECIALLY premature ones need to be breastfed in order to have the best chance at everything.

I wasn’t going to take that from them.

She then asked if I would just breastfeed for 4-6 weeks and if I would call my OB today to see if I could have radiation during the pregnancy.

I asked her why this seemed so urgent. What was found in my labs and ultrasound that is making this so important? I wanted to know exactly what they found and she couldn’t tell me.

She told me that everything looked good according to her but she had a note that said to schedule me for radiation.

She told me she would leave a message for my doctor who was in surgery all day and he may call me before the day was over or on Monday.

As soon as I hung up the phone I started crying.

Those phone calls take the wind out of you. They make the dishes in the sink and frustrating cartoon Ikea instructions little specks of insignificance.

Kevin held me and Noah came running saying, “mo-mo? mo-mo?”.

I wanted to melt into the two of them and just cry, but I couldn’t.

Thanks to the phone call we were running very late to our appointment. We still had to take Noah to my mom’s and then drive to the hospital.

I cried during the 5 minute drive to my mom’s and as soon as we parked I was done.

I knew this wasn’t right, it also wasn’t fair. I was about to see my boys. I couldn’t let this phone call ruin getting to see them.

We rushed into the hospital and once I met up with my ultrasound tech I told her I may get a call during the scan (which is over 2 hours long) and I would have to take it. After explaining the situation to her she gave me a hug and said she completely understood. I am so thankful she has been a part of this pregnancy.

After our scan was over and we knew the twins were ok she told me she had an idea of what would cheer me up (especially since my doctor had not called yet) and did a 3D ultrasound of the twins.

Seeing their little ears, fingers and noses really did the trick.

She got a really clear picture of Evan rubbing his little eyes and I started to cry, but this time happy tears.

We left with 30 plus pictures and headed to my mom’s house to pick up Noah.

No more than one minute from leaving the hospital did my doctor call.

He immediately told me to not worry and said the nurse completely misunderstood. He said I could have a radioactive scan in the next few years after I was done having babies and I may not even need it if everything stays the way it has.

I told him how serious the nurse was and told me that I would want to check if I could have it done while pregnant and he said that was all her probably trying to make sense out of something she didn’t understand. It wasn’t even his nurse. He apologized and I thanked him and hung up the phone.

There really wasn’t a better feeling I could have had at that moment.

My boys were ok and I was still ok.

We really couldn’t ask for anything more!

Here are some pictures of the babies!! Belly shots, nursery, Noah’s big boy room and Noah pictures coming soon!

Evan’s profile

long, long legs!

Aiden’s profile

I love these twin head shots, they never get old!

Evan with his arm over his face, you can see his little ear.


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