finding strength.

When I was little my mom always sang to us. She would sing lullabies and changes songs around to make them “our songs”.

It was always so comforting to me.

I’ve been humming and singing to the twins and without really thinking about it sang to them a song my mom would sing to us when we were little knew that this was their song.

You’re my spirit to be strong, I’ll be there when things go wrong…

So I’ve written down these words to let you know…

Loves grown deep, deep into the heart of me

You’ve become a part of me

Loves grown deep, deep into the heart of me

You’ve become a part of me.

As we travel down this hard long road, side-by-side well share the load

Hand-in-hand well see each other through, 

Though we’ve only just begun, lets count our blessings one-by-one

I thank God for life, I thank God for you.

I feel so far away from them and it is hard to come home and be without two babies to love and care for and have other people filling the role of mom for me.

So to remember both my little fighters and as a constant reminder of their strength and reminder to be strong I am going to wear their little hospital ID tags until they come home.

They are my spirit to be strong.



Today’s rounds:


Aiden had a lot of brady episodes with apnea last night but his O2 levels didn’t drop with the spells so that is good. He also self corrected a lot of them and more than half were due to him pulling his nasal tubes out. They don’t know how he is pulling them out but he is a fiesty one! He somehow wiggled his way out of his snuggle wrap and had his butt pressed up against the glass the other day and wormed his way up his incubator bed.

If his brady episodes keep up they might up his caffine injections or put him on the machine Evan is on that helps him breathe. They said if they did it would just be on a low rate. He has just been through a lot with being put under the light, a blood transfusion and the indocin treatments and stopping his feedings for the treatments.

The indocin treatment for his PDA caused his urine output to be low so they are holding off on the second dose till they can pull a CBC and get another diaper or two from him. Luckily they did say his murmur sounded better!


Evan is doing perfect. His feedings are going up, his attitude rivals his brothers and he only had one brady episode last night and they moved his rate down from 30 bpm to 20 bpm and he is still on 21% (room air) oxygen.

Both boys billrubin levels didn’t change so they are still under one light.


Over all fairly good news, I say fairly because I know the brady stuff is normal but I HATE it. It is hard to hear cardiac event and no big deal in the same sentence. They were very boring (which is GREAT) yesterday and we had a great visit with them.


One thought on “finding strength.

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