One of the hardest parts about all of this is knowing the other half of my parenting team has to go through this.
My husband is by far the best man on the planet.
I’ve known that since we met in middle school at 13 years old. He is a one of a kind.
If you met him you would agree.
He doesn’t hate anyone. He cares genuinely for everyone. He is so strong and brave. He is logical and level headed. He is the hardest, most dedicated worker I have ever met. He always puts everyone else ahead of himself. He is selfless.
He is an amazing father. Even after barely making it in the door after a long day at work, no matter how tired he is, no matter how bad his back or head hurt you would never know.
Within seconds he is on the floor rolling around with Noah or swinging him in the air and letting him crawl all over him even before he takes off his shoes.
Kevin is always my rock. From battling cancer to when I have a cold, he has been there.
I can’t help my mind from wondering every time I see him holding one of the twin’s hands or snuggled up with Noah taking a nap so peaceful, how could this happen to him?
No parent deserves this kind of pain, but oh my God why him?
He is perfect. He is so loving. So kind. He deserves so much more than to watch his children struggle for life.
This has tormented me since I was put on bed rest. He made at least a dozen trips to and from the hospital when I was on bed rest each day. Sometimes just making a trip so I could cuddle with Noah for 30 minutes, sometimes the trip to get him and back was longer than the visit but he never complained. When I was in the hospital he painted my toe nails so I wouldn’t feel like such a mess. No matter how little sleep he got or how hard his day was you would have never known, he was there by my side every second he could be.
When I had the twins, it was harder but he never lost faith. Even when I couldn’t pull myself together, he was there for me…even though I know inside he wanted to fall apart too. He told me one night when I told him it was ok to fall apart, “no it is ok, this is my job, I’ve got you, I’ve got Noah, I’ve got them, it is going to be ok.”
Then last night, watching Kevin and Noah play and run around the house I think I found some clarity.
Kevin has a gift with children. They flock to him, he is approachable to them.
In my mom’s day care when we would go to visit the kids would swarm Kevin who would sit on the floor and pay special attention to each and every one of them all the while entertaining the entire group. Normally shy little ones brighten up around him and come out of their shell.
Noah lights up in a special way when Kevin is around, he truly has a gift.
And maybe, as sad as it is, maybe that is my answer to “why him?”
Because Aiden, maybe even Evan will have needs to battles to overcome that will seem like nothing with a dad like him.
While Kevin is phenomenal with Noah, our “normal” crazy toddler I know his gift with children will end up being better than medicine for Aiden’s brain diagnosis and whatever the future holds for Evan.
So while I wish so much could be different for my babies and my husband I know that Aiden and Evan have someone extra special on their side that will get them through anything and they will be lucky enough to call him Dad.
And if I have done anything for my children it is give them the gift of marrying the best man in the world.